My Life...

Hey, I am back to write my blog it has been so long since i wrote in my blog...LOL!! i miss writting in my blog. anyway bloogy how have u been dng. I hope tinks are gng well. I have got a couple of tinks to say to u ....hahahs This is gng to be freeking long. Yea alot of emotions to pour out to u man!! can't keep it any longer....

Firstly, i am successfully enrolled in my favourite course Chemical Process Technology. I have been dng that course for currently 2 months plus. Learn alot bout petrolchemical PLant...operating of pipes and exchangers...wow!! More of a guy tink.. but i dnt tink so..it's actually kind of interesting love it...Anyway gng ITE..simei i made alot of cool friends in JC1004Y...Wow they are dame cool and we love each other equally la...we care for each other..in other words one for all ...all for one...I am sure..i will enjoy my 2yrs in this sch with a class like that... love u guys always..anyway talkin bout my studies..i have been scoring A for my test which is a motivation for me...LOve that..aiming high..!!!

Secondly..I am back to talk bout my LOVE life...Haix..!!! I dnt noe wat to say bout my love life..i am so confuse pass few days...I have to own up the truth now... I seriously am madly in love with THEVEN. I can't forget him...i have tried many times to hate him to avoid him...to fall for another guy...to make him jealous...many other stuff to make my mind switch of him totally...but i can't i still tink of him...wen i listen to song...wen i see him in sch...wen i eat..bathe...everytime my parents talk bout him...how am i gng to erase him of my life.. The day started wen i went out with him to pasir ris beach..we were talking as usual..than tinks turn out different wen we actually had a bet the day before...saying that if he doesnt disturb me he is allowed to do anitink...hahah!!! it turn out to be a very passionate kiss...which was reallie long...i love the way it wen..slow and romantic...The kiss was not like any other kiss..its like we have so much of love for many yrs...and couldn't show but thru the kiss we are presenting it....from that day onwards..we started gng out...we wen dobhy gaut...the Istana Park...was a all time favourite day..we were reallie intense..oh my god...the love he an i share was fantastic...every kiss every touch he give gives me the intense feeling thru my body...WOW!!! awesome Experience.. I became mad afta that day....over every min we spend..i couldn't sleep that night had alot of dreams running thru me...couldn't focus at work...everytink was so new to me...i felt the world was flying for me...haix,..neva felt like that in my 18yrs of life..now i ma feeling this oh maN!!! On May 28 i was extremely shock wat happen...the way that they wen was as if we were real husband and wife...the day was like i am and him married in a hse running the day showing love to each other...every minute i look at him is like heaven...i seriously afta 28th may i lost myself...and my mind alreadi made me experience the husband and wife relationship that day ..just one day i understand how it will turn out to be..Oh man!!! but afta all this fun and love between us..i still have this hurting pain in me that i can't change..Diary...i feel hurt weneva he msges his galfwen...i feel like crying...i dnt noe how to stop this emotion...i feel like someone is stealing my love one away from me...i can't see him smsing her or meeting her the will turn out to be a doomsday for me ...i have tired to tell myself that it is noting but nth can change it ....HAix...but i JUst have this final wish...if i can't get this life to be with him....i pray reallie badly that wen i reborn again i wan him to be my husband in my next life..and we must stay happie always showing this much of love togetha....Every Blood that runs in me is every beat of his heart...i am seriously telling this from my bottom heart...with tears rolling down my eyes...I LOVE YOU THEVEN....

Afta A Long Thoughtful Days....

Hey,

I am back afta a long time to update my bloggy....Anyway let me start my post with my updates of swensens.. I have resign from the job on 28 feb 2010. My very last day. Resignation was due to some mis complication between my managers...as u can see underground stuffs do happen. Couldn't get along. Another reason was...had a So called " LOVE TRAINGLE" in there...i couldn't stand it...2 guys after me i am totally not interested in all this...Man..one of them is married and has a wife in INDIA...he still wants me as his galfwen..dammit Cheap Bugger...Malaysian Guy aftaa me dame not good...not interested...I reallie can't stand this type of think it is so not me. They are like way older than me can't they tink for themselves...haix...complecated life..so i decide it is good to leave the path and start a new path...which is more less complication and leads to a smoother path. am i right to say that.... So i am currently looking for a new job hope to get one very soon.

So after all this Work stuffs...i have some other tink that was bothering me in life...i dnt know i have this feeling running into me that i can't change. I have always tried too as my dad always tell me start a new path in life...but i can't to onli one think in life. Its my love ...i have tried to avoid stuffs and move on and get to begin a total new destiny...but fate is making tinks come back to where it belongs..this didnt happen once or twice its like for 5yrs...of pain and sorrow...how can i change this very path. Even today afta the movie " MY NAME IS KHAN" my dad was talkin bout him...my parents are confident that he would be my life partner...but the ans is NO...he has alreadi forgotten me and he has started a brand new life for himself. He does not have feelings for me anylonger...i am nothing to him anymore juz a old newspaper in the rubbish bin Or shall i say a friend who is needed when he is having prob...i dnt know..i never or dnt noe how to ask him...its weird sometime...i speak to him on the phone telling myself he is my friend nth mre...but when we talk there is alwqys something that make me miss him more and love him more...the EVERY SECOND EVERY MINUTE of Pain Runs Thru Me......I dnt know...it's very painful...You will not believe this...i get jealous wen he talks bout his gal...i am feeling it now onli...i have to avoid all this...i dnt wan to be the culprit who spoils his life...i have to move off... Oh GOsh!!! i can't believe i am getting jealous i have neva got jealous but this is the first time i am...i can't be.. Thats why i can't " TAKE HIM AS MY FRIEND ANY LONGER" there is no place in my heart for him to be my friend...Oh god...!! help me !!! This pain and confusion i am going thru can't be solve unless i dnt talk to him...but i am controlling myself..and i will no prob..i will change my mindset to get thinks right...and i will..!!!

anyway after all this pouring rain of pain...i am gng to have a break now and think of my life...i just need a break for myself...i very goodbreak... i will update u mre..tkcre cya...

Ganeshini Wedding!!!

Hey,

Hi i am back to write...hahass!! today is my very close friend who i treat like a sista, Elder sis wedding. WoW!! she is 26 finally its her time to get married. haahxx!! wen i see the people around me get married...hahah neva had the wish to get married that fast anyway. I am still single free to mingle. hahahx!! anyway had a good day at the wedding, had alot of jokes and good food. Even thought indian wedding takes hours to complete it was worth while waiting. Once again wen i enter the wedding hall, i felt this feelings of heart pain and saddness...it is not because i have the feeling of getting married and all...but i juzt remember my pass which i shared with someone precious. Haix..!! sometimes i dont feel like attending any wedding as i know i will tend to think about the past!!! Anyway lifes got to move on. memories come and go...i just can't stop that from happening...it really hurts me alot. sometime i cry all night thinking bout it. Sometimes i just keep it deep inside me and not tell it out. How can i move on went i can't tell me .....Tears of pain rolled down my eyes every day and night. Sometimes while i am working my start to think bout it wen i see some other people...but i just got to lie to others than my contact lenses are giving me tears in my eyes...HAIX!!! i am trying my very best to forget everythink and move on...and i will keep trying. i know that it will hurt alot and very alot!!! it can break me into small pieces...but i have no choice but go thru with it....I guess it is time for me too juz start all over again...and forget wat i had done with that person and move...OH GOSH!!! Its really HArd....!! trying my very best....!!! anyway got to go...HAving work tomorrow...!! cya..!!

Working!!!

Hey,

I am back to write. I am so happie that finally i found a proper job to work. I currently working in swensens as a waitress. WOW!! the job is fun met alot of cool people. Met different type of customer and learned how to handle all that customers can be hard but i managed it well. So far made alot of friends in SWENSENS. Working with cool people. Have someone who is so fast interested in me..oh gosh!! no comments that guy is a manager and he is being so close with me. wah dame!! i can't work man. He keeps staring at me..he calls my name in a day at least 10 times. He gives me the cheeky smile tryin to seduce me. Hahahahss.. This week my shift is with him throughout till closing. Haix..alot of funnie stuffs has happen and it is hard to explain. haiz...tomorrow is work day...got to work quite late as it is weekend hope things go well and he doesn't do anythink funnie...he even call me out for dinner at soul garden. hahahxx thank god i didnt go i wonder wat happens if i went out!! can't imagine. anyway g2g now..cya!!!

Graduation Nite..!!!

Hey,

I am back to update my blog...hahahxx!! finally yesterday on the 18th November was the graduation nite. WoW!! the nite was splendid..i love the games the fun jokes the photo taking wow!! it was a marvelous day..!! i miss all my buddies now...maan!! u guys have been the best. 5NA batch this year is the best group of people who really made the year exciting and fun....i will miss all of u badly...please dont lose contact lets all still be in contact and share our jokes and stories togetha... i love all the teachers who were there for me...and had made the yr 2009 a fantastic year. finally i am happie to graduate out of punggol sec. hahahahxx!!! I wish this day never end i wish is still the graduation nite..haix...!!! thats all for now...please get me in contact..ask my number or email add or msn..!! i am always there for u guys..!!

Who Is He....!!!

Hey,

Oh gosh..!! i can't believe this..who is that guy that i saw in the National Library. I can't believe that he is my sch floorball coach. I am not in the floorball team, but my friend told me that one of the coach was an indian and he was HOT!!! I didnt believe that he was hot..because i didnt get a chance to even to see him even once. As they say different people got different taste and different preception. I was talking bout him in school for 1 month b4 the Olevels wen there were floorball practices gng on. I eagarly wanted to know how he looked like. But when the day i wanted to go my friend told me he is no longer coming to floorball practices. Oh maan!! i was heartbroken as i couldnt even have the chance to see him once. The sadness was overcoming me. After that 2 months with the buzie preparation with Os...i didnt remember him. I forgot totally bout him. And after a very long long long time i finally met him. Oh Gosh!! of all i met him today durin HALLOWEEN in the national library. I didnt even noe it was him as i didnt noe how he look like. My friend was signaling me telling me that he was the floorball coach that played with her floorball. I was SHOCKED and STUNNED. He was so CUTE!! oh maan!! he had those attractive features that i can't resist from not looking. He just made me think of him throughout the whole day and night. Oh dame!! He is not so handsome like somekind of Model standard but he was juz attractive in his own way. Maan!! i am still smiling in my sleep and whenever i recall or tink of my books. HHAHHAHAHAH!!! God..!! Anyway if we are fated to meet each other once again than we are fated. I am not gng to think to far or wish to much. haaixx!! But i hope i meet him again. I wish i get a chance to reallie talk to him and get to noe him. I hope the chance will come true. Its once in the life time me meeting someone special. haix...God r we fated or juz a passing cloud like the other guys i ever met. hahah!!! My questions are still unclear and i hope it would be cleared soon.!! Anyway thats all i got to say bloggy..!! tk cre Gd nite..i got tuition tomorrow and i have to wake up early to go for class. I need to study for my S.S and Chem Paper tomorrow...oh dame i am scared. My god bless me with confidence...Gd byeee!!

Feeling Blue!!!

Hey,

I am feeling terribly blue...!! How am i going to start.... tell me!! When i close my eyes the only think that appears in my mind and dreams were just signs of pain and anger and tears. I cry all night feeling blue. I talk to myself went i have no want to share my problems with. I can't seek anyone accept me. I am feeling depress. I am having feeling of running away. i can't sleep. i am feeling restless. DAD and MUM!!! i can't fulfill what you want me to be. I can't be like my cousins who are in JC or in UNI...I ma just a ordinary gal who strives for her best. You just got to accept me for who i am rather than comparing me with my cousins or people from outside. I know i can't stand at their shadows they are way more better than me. They score great results. Please understand i am tulasi ur daughter. I am not anyother child. I can only do my very best. Please understand that i have put in my very best. I have strive very hard and I have pushed myself to the extreme. If the outcome is not what u want than u got to accept what has come. Thats how u accept me rite. I can't sit with people telling me i am useless, I can't be someone in life, i am stupid, I am hopeless, Please don't tell all this... i have gone thru alot of pain with teachers disgracing me infront of the entire school. I have teacher who just throw me to the bottom of everytink and fires my Teacher becox the outcome is bad. I still repect and did my very best. I know i am bad in my Tamil it doesnt mean my entire life is over. Stop gng around gossiping about me.. i hurts alot. I am hearing this from my own teacher. Wats wrng with u. is this all becos u want a gold value added. Please la. !!! i have enought of all this...please understand. IF ONLY I HAVE THE POWER...i wan to change the preception of other peoples thoughts...god hear me ..please...Hear my pain and tell me or show me the path...i am confuse...i am helpless now...:-(((